A Sister's Saga
by MissCassiebaby
Summary: We all know what it was like from Scarlett's POV. What about how it was in her sister's POV. this story goes throught the story in Suellen's eyes. Please Read and Review.
1. Chapter 1

A Sister's Saga

Chapter 1

Susan Eleanor O'Hara was a very pretty girl. But was often overlooked by others in the shadow of her sister Scarlett. At fifteen she would have had a lot of beaus had it not been for her sister. She was the middle sister in the household. Her mother Ellen was a beautiful woman who had bore six children only to have her three sons die before they were one year old.

She sat in the parlor with her sister Careen listening to her mother call out for various maids. She loved her life in the quiet plantation. Her father Gerald was a stout Irish man who had managed to make a life for himself. He had won his plantation in a poker game. Suellen as she was called was sewing while her sister read a book. Suellen could hear Scarlett talking with the Tarleton twins. Stuart and Brent was sweet on Scarlett. But Suellen knew where her sister's heart lie. Oh what pleasure it was going to give her when Ashley Wilkes engagement was announced the next night.

Suellen was jealous in many ways of Scarlett. Scarlett was their parents pet. She could do anything she wanted while Suellen got to do nothing but try to be the obedient child. But in ever situation it seemed even when Scarlett had started it Suellen got the blame. As she struggled to hear the conversation outside she pushed a loose strand of her light brown hair back behind her ear. She knew it wasn't ladylike to listen in on others conversation. But Scarlett always heard the most interesting secrets. No one ever told her anything interesting.

Suellen sat restlessly for a time before deciding to go see if she could help mother. She left the room in search of her mother. While walking through the house she heard Mammy yelling at Scarlett about something not being lady like. Suellen giggled to herself. Leave it to Scarlett to get mammy's dander up. She thought as she looked into the ball room. She missed having grand parties. Her mother used to host the best parties but with all the talk of war her mother would not allow them to go to the expense.

War! She had only heard stories about the wars past. But it totally confused her when she tried to think about it. Certainly it wasn't going to last long enough for it to effect their income. Why all the men said it would be over in a month. Why was her mother being so cautious about something that would not last long enough to bother them.

She walked towards her bedroom which was smaller than Scarlett's. She hated having a smaller bedroom but it fit her personality perfectly. It was dainty and pink. She went through her wardrobe and picked out a beautiful yellow morning dress for the barbeque at the Wilkes the next day. She was excited about going to the ball. She hoped that Frank Kennedy an older man who she was particularly fond of would ask for her first dance. She knew that he would flirt with her sister but she knew deep down it was her he was mad about.

She left her bedroom and went down to the kitchen. There she found her mother giving orders and answering questions. She asked if there was anything she could do to help and was given the job of taking the younger slaves back to their quarters for their suppers. Mrs. O'Hara usually did this but today she was extremely busy.

Suellen loved doing things for her mother. She led the children who had finished their day of work at their apprenticeship, out towards the quarters. She looked out over the land and saw Scarlett talking passionately with their father. She often wished that their father would talk with her like that. Sometimes she felt like the forgotten child. More often than not when she wanted attention she would start whining to anyone who would stand still long enough to listen.

After getting the troop of children to their quarters she returned just in time for dinner. Her mother had left to go to the Slattery's once again. Her mother was much to kind to those people. She thought as she watched Scarlett lead the meal. Pa railed on and on about the war and the injustice of the Yankees. The meal seemed to take forever. But it did finally come to an end.

Mrs. O'Hara returned home just in time for their prayers that night. She begged her mother to let her where Scarlett's favorite dress but was given the chance to wear her mother's earbobs instead. She secretly wanted to wear them but knew if she had asked out right Scarlett would ensure that she wouldn't get to.

Suellen followed her mother and father into the parlor for their evening prayers. She took her usual spot and knelt. During the quiet murmured prayers she tried to concentrate and not look at Scarlett. She could tell Scarlett wasn't trying very hard to concentrate herself. She forced herself to say all the right words and not show that she wasn't being a devoted catholic girl.

After the prayers were said the girls said their goodnights to their parents and started up the stairs. Suellen was so excited. Frank would be there. She hoped that she would look her best for him. She thought that if everything worked out she could be engaged to him before the war began. How jealous Scarlett would be if she were married before her.

Suellen with Sadie's help got changed quickly for bed. She sent the girl out and sat down in front of her dressing table. She took out her diary that her mother had given her two years ago for her birthday. She read through some of the worn pages before she came to an empty page.

She wrote in it for an hour or more before becoming to tired to remain awake for one more minute. She climbed into bed and dreamed of her wedding to Frank.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The next morning Suellen flew out of bed and rang the bell. Mammy rushed in with her tray of food. Suellen was the first of the three sisters to get up and start to get ready for the barbecue.

"Miz Suellen. What's you gonna wear chile?"

"I would like to wear my yellow morning dress."

"Yes won't you look lak a lil lady in dat dress."

Suellen ate her tray while Mammy got out every thing she needed. The dress was already out as Suellen had taken the pains to do that last night. After Suellen ate Mammy went to work putting the various layers needed on the young girl. Suellen hated all this just to get ready for the day. She could not understand why all this was necessary for a lady to be acceptable to every one. But her mother and Mammy insisted that it was so she did everything that was expected without voicing her questions.

To Suellen being a lady was much harder than she let on. To every ones eyes she was a perfect student to her mother and Mammy. But on the inside she was like a tiger being held by the tail. Her every thought fought against every ladylike behaviour that had been drummed into her. But she yearned to be accepted. So if doing everything she found to be pointless meant getting the acceptance of the world around her than she would do them.

She never spoke out of turn. She would never say anything when offended. And she would never let it seem she was interested in anything deemed unladylike. When talk of War started she would become disinterested and aloft. But inside she wished more than anything to be able to talk to her father and his friends on her views. She wasn't as brave as Scarlett was and how she wished she was. Maybe if she didn't care so much what others thought of her she could do all the things like Scarlett did to attract more beaus. And then she wouldn't be stuck with Frank Kennedy. She shook her head suddenly ashamed of her slight at her one true beau. Frank was a good man and deserved her loyalty.

Once dressed she went down to wait for the other two to finally get out of bed. She sat down in the parlor to embroider more on the handkerchief she was doing for her father. She looked up as she saw Mr. Wilkerson being led to the office by Pork. She saw her mother in the office and smiled at her. Her mother smiled briefly at her before closing the door.

An hour later her pa was screaming about how they were late. Scarlett was busy arguing with mammy and Suellen was miserable. Why must Scarlett always make things so difficult. Can't she ever just be the lady Mammy wanted. She asked herself.

"If your not out here in five minutes It will be leaving you we will be doing."

Gerald shouted at Scarlett's window.

"Oh Pa lets just go. She is going to make us late." Suellen whined from her seat in the carriage.

"You hold your tongue young lady. I'll not be having me own daughter start telling me what to do." he reprimanded his daughter.

Suellen flounced back in her seat. Careen looked at her sister with a shy look of understanding. Suellen looked back appreciatively. Scarlett finally made her appearance in what was a horrendous inappropriate dress. Suellen expected Pa to make Scarlett go change at once which would ensure their lateness. But pa was in to big of a hurry to get there that he didn't seem to notice.

"My Scarlett that certainly is an interesting choice of dress." Suellen said coyly.

"I want to look my best."

"No doubt who for either."

"You are just jealous Suellen that I have so many beau's and the only one you can get is a Old maid in britches."

"At least I can keep mine with out having to show myself in public."

"Suellen how you do run out."

"I'm sure that Ashley Wilkes won't notice you at all now that he is engaged to Melanie Hamilton."

"Fiddle dee dee! He will notice me."

"you girls hold your tongue. Here comes Mrs. Tarleton. No need to give her any fodder for the gossips in the county." Mr. O'Hara said sternly

The girls stopped their conversation and greeted Mrs. Tarleton and the girls. Suellen made small talk with the girls while her Pa talked with Mrs. Tarleton. She tried to keep on subject but in her mind she was still seething over Scarlett's comments about Mr. Kennedy. She managed to hold her composure.

As they finally arrived Suellen saw Mr. Kennedy but noticed that she wasn't the object of his attention. She saw that he was indeed staring at Scarlett. She grimaced slightly at her beaus obvious slight towards her but put a smile on her face as he approached and helped her out of the carriage and escorted her to greet their hosts. Mr. Wilkes and India Wilkes stood at the entrance welcoming friends to their home. India warmly welcomed Suellen while just barely civilly welcoming Scarlett. Unlike Scarlett Suellen got along well with ever girl in the neighborhood. Inside the large mansion she greeted Honey. Honey was India and Ashley's sister. Suellen and Honey were particularly close. They had became good friends and so they spent the first fifteen minutes in quiet conversation before Melanie Hamilton joined them. Melanie spoke sweetly to Suellen about how beautiful she looked. Suellen glowed at such compliments coming from Miss Hamilton. She wasn't used to getting such from anyone except her mother.

The ladies soon excused themselves to go to the powder room to freshen up. Melanie soon left them to go find Ashley for a walk in the gardens. When Suellen and Honey came down to their dismay they found their men among the throng of men around Scarlett. Honey openly berated Scarlett's behavior to Suellen. While Suellen held onto her own thoughts guarding her tongue. Scarlett was still her sister no matter how much she hurt her. She told herself to keep calm never forget family is more important than a man. Suellen finally walked away from Honey after India came to talk to Honey trying to calm the seething girl.

Suellen walked through the gardens. She stopped to look at the lovely roses that surrounded her. She felt like she was in a fairy tale that her mother used to read to her when she was a child. She thought If only I could just make a wish and every dream could come true. I would be the belle of the ball and have men hanging on me just like Scarlett.

A sudden sound behind her shook her from her reverie. She glanced behind her and saw a very handsome tall dark haired man. He was looking at her with a strange look.

"I'm sorry for interrupting I was just looking at Mr. Wilkes most amazing garden."

"It's quite alright I was just lost in thought."

"We haven't been formally introduced I am Mr. Rhett Butler and who may I ask do I have the pleasure of meeting?"

"Miss Susan O'Hara but most call me Miss Suellen." She said lowering her eyes.

"It is a pleasure to meet you Miss Suellen. May I walk with you a bit?"

"Yes you may. I don't recall seeing you before. Are you a friend of Mr. Wilkes?"

"No I am a business of Mr. Frank Kennedy."

"Mr. Kennedy. Yes he is a very nice man."

"You know him I take it."  
"Yes He is my beau" Suellen said blushing at the unladylike confession.

"Then if I may be so bold as to ask Why are you not walking with him?"

"I'm afraid he is currently amusing himself in other venues."

"Ah yes I see. He is one of the many men surrounding that lady by the tree. Do you know her?"

"Yes actually she is my sister."

"Oh my how crude of me. I am sorry to pain you so much. Had I known I would never have brought it up!"

"It is quite alright. I really must be going it is almost time for the ladies to go up for their naps and I am feeling quite tired."

Suellen quickly walked away from the man before anyone seen that she was walking and talking with a man not received in any home. She went in and started up the long staircase. When she finally found mammy near the bed she picked out for her girls she asked mammy to help her get out of the dress. After mammy helped get her settled the older black woman went off in search of some one to fan her as she slept.

Finally alone she started to weep into her pillow. She cried for all the disappointment she felt that day. For the fact that her sister could be so hateful towards her. She cried for all her stolen dreams. She felt so alone. Her mother and father preferred Scarlett. Now her beau seemed to prefer her as well. It wasn't fair. Why did she always end up being the one let down?

After the girls had their nap they all got up and started dressing for the afternoon festivities. Suellen looked around for Scarlett but could not find her anywhere. No doubt she had snuck out again. Mammy would not be happy when she found that out. Mammy helped Suellen get dressed all the while mumbling about how Miz Scarlett was going to be the death of her.

Suellen left the room and was quickly joined by the Wilkes sisters and Melanie. They were talking again about how scandalous Scarlett had behaved. Suellen felt a twinge of guilt when Melanie started to defend her sister. She knew that should have been her. Scarlett was her sister but here Melanie was behaving more like a sister than she was. As they entered the main hall they heard the men let out a war hoop and take off running. Men were grabbing their sweet hearts and shouting the news.

Suellen looked on as she saw Mr. Kennedy coming towards her.

"Miss Suellen you will never believe the news that we just received."

"Well don't keep me in suspense. What ever is going on?"

"Lincoln just called for 75,000 volunteers."

"And how does that effect us?"

"Oh Miss Suellen surely you know that it means we are at war now." he said incredulously.

"Will you be going now?"

"yes as all the rest of the young men."

"What about the ball tonight?"

"how can you talk about a ball when the war is upon us?"

"Oh I'm sorry lets not fight with you leaving just now. I want us to have happy memories between us." Suellen said looking up adoringly.

"Yes of course"

The two talked for a few more minutes and Frank gently kissed her cheek and bid her good bye as he left to join the troop.

An hour later Suellen and her sisters were once again sitting in their carriage. No one spoke save for Pa who went on and on between the war and his daughter Scarlett marrying Charles Hamilton.

Soon Suellen found herself once again writing in her diary until she was almost asleep. She crawled into bed and again cried herself to sleep. This time she cried because she knew deep down that their lives would be forever changed by this horrid war.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N This story covers alot about how Suellen felt during the events of GWTW so I may not describe every thing that is happening as clearly as if I were telling an actual event. I have added some parts to it. and since I forgot to mention in my first two chapters. I do not own any characters of Gone With The Wind.

Chapter 3

The weeks before Scarlett's wedding went by quickly. Suellen had never been more miserable in her life. Her misery was almost as bad as her sister Scarlett's. Suellen had only made the mistake of making a snide comment about Scarlett's marriage once. Mammy heard it and that was it. Suellen was fifteen years old and was totally dismayed when Mammy went to Mother about it. Suellen would never live down the scolding her mother gave her.

Suellen went around the house helping her mother and Scarlett with the final wedding preparations. She never once said another word about the marriage to Scarlett but inside she knew that Scarlett didn't love Charles. She knew who Scarlett loved. Ashley Wilkes but of course if she told anyone they would never believe her.

Suellen inwardly cringed at the thought of so many coming to their home. She loved a good party but in the days that followed the barbecue a sense of fear and confusion took the place of the joy and rapturous that should have been there. After all Scarlett and Charles were getting married as were Ashley and Melanie. Instead of the grand parties they had to settle for just the wedding and the parties afterward. Suellen had expected Frank Kennedy to come calling but she had not seen him in over two weeks. It seemed that she may never see him again.

The night before the wedding Suellen was situated in Careen's room after being forced to give up her bedroom for one of her aunt's from Savannah. Suellen was angry. She couldn't understand why she always had to give things up for Scarlett. Careen tried to console her sister with promises that if it were her being married that Scarlett would have had to do the same thing for her. Suellen only laughed cruelly at her sisters attempts. No Scarlett would never be made to give up anything that she wanted. She doubted that even Ashley marrying Melanie would stop her sister from chasing after him.

The wedding was beautiful and Suellen had to admit that even though Scarlett looked dazed she played the part well of the glowing bride. Her aunts made over how beautiful Scarlett looked and tried to cheer Suellen up by reminding her that soon enough she herself would be a doting wife. Mr. Kennedy was there by her side now so her Aunts stopped there teasing. Melanie stood by Scarlett and introduced her to the Hamilton side of the family. Although Charles and Melanie's parents were both dead. There was many people to meet.

Suellen was amazed that Scarlett managed to hold her sharp tongue as people pressed her about every little matter. She mourned at the small feast that was put before them all. Mother had decided it best not to go to extravagant on the wedding beings that their was a war started. Prices of household and food goods had already started to rise and She was worried that they would only get higher. Scarlett had agreed with her mother as if she didn't care. Suellen was angry with her sister. Why did she always have to do things so rash. She married Charles knowing that she didn't love him. Poor Charles. No one deserves to be treated that way.

Secretly Suellen worried that perhaps she too was treating Frank Kennedy as bad. Did she really love him? She was fond of him that she knew. But she had always expected to feel something unexpected when she fell in love. She always thought it would be like seeing fireworks for the first time. She remembered a few years ago going to Jonesboro with her family on the Fourth of July and watching a fireworks display that amazed her. She had thought that falling in love would feel just like that. But She never felt that feeling when Frank touched her hand. Nor when he stole that kiss the last time he saw her.

Maybe love would come after they were married. After all they all knew Mother didn't love their father before they were married but surely they did now. After six children three of those children being buried out in the family grave yard surely she felt something for her husband. Mammy always said sometimes that is the best way. To not love your husband before the marriage so your not disappointed when they do not live up to your dreams. But to fall in love after you are married.

Sometimes she felt alone even when Frank stood next to her. She didn't feel passion from him even when he held her close. He felt stiff and uneasy when he did so. She didn't know what to make of it. He looked at her with a queer look in his eye like she often imagined some one in love would give. But just as fast as it appeared it was gone.

After what seemed a life time of confusion for Suellen she finally got to go to bed. She was still sleeping in Careens bed. As she fell asleep she could hear Scarlett and Charles talking in Scarlett's bed room. He was telling the now sobbing Scarlett not to cry and not to be afraid of him. Afraid of him why would she be afraid of him. Suellen blushed ladies did not ask about these things that was between a husband and a wife. She fell asleep finally.

A week later after all the guests had left Charles left to rejoin his regiment. Wade Hampton's regiment from South Carolina. Scarlett had returned to her normal behavior as if she wasn't married at all. Mother had to keep reminding her that a married lady didn't do this and a married lady didn't do that. Suellen sulked if it were me Mother wouldn't have to remind me.

Suellen received many letters from Mr. Kennedy during those first few months of war. She wasn't the only one who received letters. Scarlett did too but not from Charlie. Never again would she receive a letter from him. Two weeks after they were married he died from illness in camp. Scarlett cried. Only Suellen knew why she really was crying. Mother and Mammy both thought it was because Scarlett was upset about her beloved husband had died. But Suellen knew that it was because Scarlett knew she would never be able to wear anything cheerful again. At least married ladies could wear clothes that were not black. But a woman in deep mourning had to wear all black. And even when they were out of mourning could not wear the bright vivacious colors that other married ladies sometimes could wear.

If it was me I would cry real tears at losing a husband. Suellen thought. But then she thought If Frank and I were married how would I react for real. Could I cry because I loved him that dearly or would it be for my lost youth. But that would make me just like Scarlett. I am nothing like Scarlett my feelings are real. I love Mr. Kennedy. She tried to banish her thoughts of doubt but they still lingered.

She continued to write to Mr. Kennedy. Although his letters were becoming fewer and somewhat shorter in length when they did come at all She kept up writing. She told him of the everyday life. She told him of her volunteer work she did to support the cause. She and Careen had gotten together the young ladies and they would knit socks and make bandages and do what ever was asked for the soldiers in the fields.

Scarlett was pregnant and crying yet again. Does she ever stop crying Suellen thought angrily. A child is no reason to cry. At least she has something to remember Charles by unlike me if Mr. Kennedy dies. But then again Scarlett never loved Charles like I love Mr. Kennedy. She thought.

Suellen and Careen tiptoed around the house during that time. Scarlett had wicked mood swings. One minute she would be as happy as could be and the next she was viciously angry. Suellen tried not to be in the house unless she had to. She had convinced Careen to go down to the small greenhouse that no one really knew about to do their knitting and such. It was much quieter out there than it was in the house. They could talk about anything with out worrying about making Scarlett angry.

A few weeks before Scarlett gave birth to her child Melanie went to Twelve Oaks but came daily with India to see Scarlett. India was as nice to Scarlett as she had too be in front of people. But it was Melanie who showed true compassion and sisterly love towards Scarlett. Suellen tried she really did but she couldn't stop feeling the jealous feelings. She wanted it to be her and Mr. Kennedy with the exception that Mr. Kennedy would be alive unlike the unlucky Charles Hamilton.

Soon enough Scarlett went into labor. It was a fast delivery. Melanie and mammy as well as Mrs. O'Hara was there when the little boy was born. Scarlett held the baby but Suellen knew that she didn't love the child as a mother should. Mother thought maybe it was the baby reminded her to much of Charles her beloved husband. Suellen was desperately jealous of her sister. She wanted a baby of her own with a husband of her own. But soon Mr. Kennedy would come on furlough to talk to pa about him marrying her. She was sure of it.

That night with a sleeping baby in the next room she cried herself to sleep. She cried until there were no tears left. She knew that all her dreams of marrying the man she thought she truly did love despite all her doubts may never happen.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Life at Tara was beginning to be almost unbearable for Suellen. Between the constant knitting and Scarlett's frequent crying binges she didn't know what was going to drive her crazy first. She and Careen sat next to the fire while trying to make bandages yet again. Their father was in town searching for news. The last time he went to town he had heard about a battle in Virginia luckily none of the county boys had perished. Suellen deep down knew it was going to happen sooner or later.

War was horrible. It had already lasted more than a year and they were feeling the effects of the blockade. Suellen had already had to start patching one of her dresses. She hated feeling poor and alone. At least none of their slaves had run away. Some of the other plantations in the area had already had some run off. With no men to stop them it was easy enough. Luckily Pa made every one treat the workers well. If not Suellen was sure that they would start running off too.

Suellen often thought about the past. She wished sometimes that she could just close her eyes and every thing would go back to the way it was. She missed the parties. Suellen helped her mother put together baskets of food for the less fortunate people like the Slattery's. She was never allowed to go with her mother to deliver them but she could help fill the meager baskets. She tried to make her self feel better about everything by doing all this good work for others. But she could not shake the feelings of dismay at their plight.

Finally even mother could not handle Scarlett's crying and sent her to Savannah to stay with the Aunts. Suellen wanted to go too but was told she was needed at home. It was no fair. Scarlett always got to escape. When will it be my turn to escape. Suellen thought angrily. When would this cruel war be over the list of the dead and missing grew with every battle. She searched every list that Pa brought home desperately for any news of Mr. Kennedy. It had been over a month since she had heard anything from him.

It was quiet without Scarlett there. Suellen was shocked one day to receive a letter from Scarlett. Scarlett never wrote to her even when she was away to school. It was all about how bored she was and how the Aunt's didn't do anything fun. Suellen sighed in disgust. Didn't she know how boring it was here. Even though she often had Hetty Tarleton and her sisters over to help with the knitting and the bandages she was still bored. All that the Tarletons would talk about was the war and what their brother had wrote them about two months ago.

All too soon Scarlett returned home in a much worse mood and was quickly sent with prissy to Atlanta to stay with Melanie. Again Suellen begged to go. She was again told no but this time because she wasn't explicitly invited. Suellen knew that Melanie would never be angry if she too came along. But Mother had been firm that she would stay at Tara.

Not to long after Scarlett left they received word that Rafe Calvert had been killed. Suellen cried along with every girl in the county. Not because she had been close to him but because it was the first taste of death that they had felt.

Suellen just started to go through her day as if in a daze. She hid it well as did Careen. She wished that she had the same courage that Scarlett had. Scarlett had never been afraid to tell anyone how she felt in her life. She wished she could tell her mother how angry she was at being stuck at Tara with nothing but knitting and bandage making to take up her time. She wished she could say how angry she was about the war not being over when promised. She wished she could see Mr. Kennedy so she could tell him how angry she was at not being able to see him.

Suellen almost laughed when Mother had received a letter about Scarlett causing a Scandal in Atlanta after dancing with Rhett Butler. She told her self that she would have stopped it if she had been allowed to go. Of course she knew she wouldn't have but she could tell herself she would have. When Pa had decided to go to Atlanta himself and bring his wayward daughter home Suellen begged him to take her with him.

"No lassie. I would not make you endure your sister's embarrassment. You stay here with your mother and help her run things while I'm away. You'd be much happier here. It will not be a partying I will be going in Atlanta."

Suellen stopped arguing no need getting the Irish going in her father. She rarely got to talk with Mother any more as Mrs. O'Hara was so busy taking care of Tara and every needy family she ran across. Mammy often went around the house saying that Miss Ellen was going to kill herself working so hard. Suellen could see the truth in her statement. Her mother was losing a lot of wait and had bags under her eyes that she never had before. Careen was also starting to lose a little and Suellen herself noticed how loose her dresses were becoming.

Coffee was no longer available and flour and Sugar were no longer cheap enough to buy like they once had. They had Confederate money now much to her mother's chagrin. Suellen had heard her parents one night arguing about the money they now used. Suellen thought to herself What if the south loses. That money will be worthless. No that will never happen. We will win this war.

Pa returned a few days later with no Scarlett. Suellen thought I should have went. No doubt Pa was swindled by the sweet talking sister of hers. Suellen was disappointed though because she was looking forward to the scene that Mother and Mammy would make. She was desperate for something new and exciting to happen.

Soon though she did get to see Mr. Kennedy. Mr. Kennedy came leading a group of soldiers trying to get supplies for the army. Mrs. O'Hara gave him of course all they could afford. She invited him in for some weak tea but He could not stay. Suellen came out of the house and was able to talk with him while the men loaded the supplies into a wagon.

"Mr. Kennedy, how are you?"

"Miss Suellen I am fine. It is nice to see a friendly face though."

"Isn't every one being friendly to you?" Suellen said in shock.

"No many people refuse to give anything at all. They tell us why should they give the food out of their children's mouths when we can't even win the war."

"Certainly it isn't hopeless."

"Miss Suellen don't you worry your pretty little head our boys are as brave as ever. We have won some key battles. Why they are saying among the officers I know personally that the war is almost over. The Yankees are growing tired of it already and talks of peace is being made."

"that will be wonderful. I can't wait for the war to be over."  
"Nor can I"

Then he mounted his horse after kissing her hand again and led his troops away. Suellen smiled at the thought of the war being over for good soon. Then life could go back to usual. Mother could rest. Suellen prayed that night that it would be over as soon as Mr. Kennedy thought it would.

Scarlett wrote again complaining about working in the hospitals and that Belle Watling person. Suellen became angry again. At least she is doing something. I never do anything except knit. I hate knitting. I hate this war. I hate Tara. First chance I get I'm getting out of here. She told herself. She could never tell Careen these things cause she would only try to ease away her anger. Careen just didn't understand. She still was to much of a child to see what was happening.

Suellen started to work on homespun cloth trying to make a decent dress so she could at least go visit a few neighbors. She hated the feel of the cloth between her nimble fingers. She tried to pretend it was a soft silk or any other soft fabric she could think of but to no abate. Tara was almost unrecognizable by this point. They had stopped planting so much cotton and started to plant food that they could put back for the winter. It never yielded as much as they needed. Pa had started hunting for meat. Thankfully for them he was a good shot. But did he really have to shoot only rabbits. Couldn't he try for a deer or something. Suellen thought as she ate the stew that cookie made that night.

Christmas came that year and went with again no parties or celebration. They treated it just like another day. More of the county men were dead and buried in other places. It seemed like every one wore black now. The world seemed to be in shades of grey and black. It seemed like a lifetime had passed since she saw any colors.

The new year brought more troubles more lost battles and more dead men. More volunteers had been called and now older men were responding. Mr. John Wilkes went to join the army. As did many other neighbors. Pa tried to but they wouldn't let him in because of his leg. Mother was happy about that. Suellen secretly was too. She was scared to be there with only women to protect them selves. Honey and India had left for Savannah to live with family there.

More slaves ran away. It was becoming harder and harder to make it through the year. By the time planting time came they were down to half the amount of workers they once had. And after Lincoln's emancipation proclamation became a reality they lost almost all except Pork, Dilcey and Mammy. Now they all worked out in the fields. Suellen looked sadly at her worn hands. No longer the smooth skin that once graced her hands. She wept at her lot and cried out her hatred of Tara. Soon sickness started working through the neighborhood. How long could this last?


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Mrs. O'Hara was gone again the Slattery's were sick and needed nursing. Suellen knew that in her mothers weakened state she should not be any where close to that family. But her mother had such a large heart when it came to others nothing would stop her. She would give a hungry child her only meal for the day. But would not hear of Suellen or Careen doing the same thing. Suellen would willingly give her supper up if it meant no more rabbit. She hated eating it even more than the clothes she had to where.

Suellen was sitting in the parlor with Careen trying to knit. She had a headache unlike anything she had ever had before. Careen seemed to be tired. Mammy came in and when noticing how unusually quiet the two girls was asked what was wrong. After being told she immediately sent them up to bed. Mammy quickly told Mr. O'Hara that she believed the girls was ill. He tried to get Dr. Fontaine to come but he was so busy with every family in the county it seemed he told Gerald that he couldn't possibly come.

When he returned he found the girls in the same room together and Mrs. O'Hara was hovering over them. She turned to see her husband and told him to wait for her in the parlor. Suellen and Careen had a fever and she suspected that they had both contracted typhoid fever. She cried as she tried to calm the delirious girls.

Suellen slept restlessly. She cried out for her mother. But no one answered where was every one. She felt a cool clothe move gently across her face. She tried to open her eyes but she was so weak she couldn't even muster that. She could hear her sister cry out. Why wasn't someone helping Careen. I'll help you Careen Just let me get up. She thought as she struggled to move but she couldn't. The blankets were so heavy she couldn't even lift them. I tried Careen I really tried. Suellen thought unable to speak for a moment.

The sisters were sick for what seemed like forever. When their fevers broke their world would never be the same. Mammy sat in the corner of the room crying. Her Ellen had slipped quietly out of this world yesterday and Mr. O'Hara seemed to have lost his sanity. He was like a child again. And would not except that his beloved Ellen had died. Mammy tried not to cry but the pain in her heart was too much. She looked up as Suellen's eyes fluttered open. Mammy rushed to the bed side. She felt her forehead and could feel the fever was gone.

"Mother. Where's Mother?"

"Oh Honey chile, Yur Ma went to be wif yur little brudders now. She wif Jesus."

"Mother is dead." Suellen whispered in disbelief. Damn Scarlett for not being here to help us all. She was never here when we really needed her. She's been living the queens life in Atlanta while we have been starving.

The door opened and in stepped Scarlett with more water. Suellen blinked. She didn't even know what to think. Scarlett helped Mammy try to feed her some broth by holding her up slightly.

"What did Mother Die of?" Suellen asked.

"Typhoid Fever. She was weaker than you and Careen. She never was as strong as we all thought she was."

Suellen lay in silence. I killed Mother. I wish it was me. Tears started to fall freely from her as she took all the blame of their mother's death on her weary shoulders. The next day she was carried out to the family graveyard for her mother's burial. They wanted to wait for Careen to recover a bit but Scarlett and Suellen decided not to wait any longer. Suellen couldn't speak. She went deep inside herself and tried to cling to their old life.

As the days went by she started to do more around the house. She would struggle to take Melanie a tray of food. She struggled to do almost everything. Careen was starting to get around too.

Several months later the war was nearing it's end. It was harvest time and Suellen found herself out in the fields like a field hand with every one except Melanie and Pa. She was angry with her lot again. Why was she, a lady, out working in the fields. She hated Tara as much if not more than she had found herself doing before. She just once voiced it to Scarlett but had only received a slap in the face and a tongue lashing. She didn't hate Mother or Pa but Scarlett said hating Tara was the same thing as. Could she be right. Was hating Tara the same as hating Ma and Pa? She asked herself. Could she hate Tara but still adore her parents?

Finally the war was over. They fed every soldier and took in many that was too injured to go on. Will Benteen had been one of those soldiers. He had been so close to death. But Careen had nursed him back to health.

Melanie waited for Ashley and searched every face and asked every one if they had seen him. Finally he arrived. He tried to help but he wasn't much help. Melanie worked in the kitchen and took care of the children while every one else worked in the fields. Will who had recovered and used his crutch quite well started to help out in the fields as well.

One day while sitting on the porch Mr. Kennedy finally arrived. Mammy quickly made him undress and stay wrapped up while she boiled out his clothes to kill the lice that he may have picked up along the way. After he was given his pants back he wrapped himself in a blanket and searched for Scarlett. Suellen knew he was going to ask for her hand. She was nervous she knew that Scarlett wasn't fond of Mr. Kennedy. But fifteen minutes later he emerged from the house and asked her to marry him. A day later he left for Atlanta promising to return for her.

Suellen waited for months and He never came. He never wrote her. She had started to believe that she never would. She had finally gotten what she always wanted but it wasn't like any thing like she thought it would be. If he wasn't there She thought she would at least receive a love letter from him. But nothing.

She found herself crying at night. She wished Mr. Kennedy would love her the way she wanted him too. She wrote letters and sent them but never received a reply. Will heard her crying every night. He felt so sorry for the girl. If only she would just give up on him. Maybe then she would have a chance at real happiness.

Scarlett was all of a sudden making a new dress from Mother's curtains. Why can't I have a knew dress. Suellen thought. It's not fair she always gets what she wants. When is it my turn?

And why does she have to go to Atlanta and leave us to do all the work. She always leaves. I can't wait until Mr. Kennedy finally gets here to take me away.

Scarlett left Tara the next morning. A week later Melanie received a letter from Scarlett announcing that she had married Mr. Frank Kennedy and the taxes was paid. Suellen burst into tears.

"I hate Scarlett!"

"Hush darling you mustn't say things you don't mean." Melanie said trying to soothe the distraught girl.

"I do mean it. I'll hate her to the day she dies. She took my Mr. Kennedy. Now who will love me? I'll die an old maid." She said as she ran out of the room.

Careen sat by her sobbing sister in her room. She tried to console her but nothing worked so she sat and prayed for her. Suellen's life would never be the same. But little did she know how much her change would change.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

In the passing weeks Suellen was becoming more and more angry. No one was safe from her rude comments save for her father and Mammy. She even made Careen cry. The whole house walked as if on egg shells around her. It was worse than living with Scarlett Careen thought. At least when Scarlett was mad she got over it quickly. But Suellen never got over anything. Of course she was that way as a child but she was so much worse now.

Will was angry. He was done with getting screamed at by Miss Suellen. If she was going to yell at every one else that was one thing but he was done with it. And after seeing her reduce Mrs. Wilkes to tears he decided he must speak up.

"Miss Suellen what are you so angry about all the time?"

"What business is it of yours?" She spat at him.

"Well I see you hurting everyone that loves you. When the one you are angry with is in Atlanta."

"Don't you even mention her to me."

"Well it seems to me that Mr. Kennedy didn't have to marry her. In fact it would seem that if he truly loved you he wouldn't have married her at all."

"Don't you say one more thing about Mr. Kennedy. He loved me and if it wasn't for her I would be his wife right now."

"So you did receive letters from him since he left."

"Well No…..But I don't see what that has to do with anything."

"It would seem to me that a man that loved his fiancé wouldn't go months without writing or coming to see her."

"Do you care to tell me where all this is going?"

"I would warn you from now on if you have nothing nice to say to your family and myself then you had best say nothing."

"And if I don't say nothing what are you going to do about it Mr. Benteen."

"Don't try my patients. You don't want to find out what!" Will said with a snarl as he walked out.

Suellen tried to keep that warning in the back of her mind. She started to believe that Will meant every word he said. But she couldn't help going after her father to get him to sign the Allegiance pledge so that they could at least sell their cotton for a profit. She attacked him at every turn until he finally went off in a tizzy and tried jumping over a fence. He was thrown off the horse and was killed instantly right in front of her.

Careen cried and tried not to blame Suellen. Scarlett on the other hand had no trouble at blaming Suellen for their fathers death. Suellen blamed herself for being so blind to what she was saying and doing. She realized that Mr. Kennedy was lost to her when she saw Scarlett's protruding stomach. She felt more alone than she had during the war. Will spoke kindly to her as did every one but Scarlett. She didn't know that Will had asked Scarlett for her hand. He knew that since Mr. O'Hara was gone he couldn't stay there with the girls alone.

Suellen snuck out of the house that night after her father was buried and kneeled at his grave. I'm so sorry Papa, I killed you with my attacks. I was so wrong. I treated you so bad and now I can't take it back. She quietly told her father breaking into tears.

She was so distraught that she didn't even notice Will come into the graveyard. He stayed back until she rose and made his presence known.

"Will I didn't see you there."

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to interrupt."

"Oh it is alright I was leaving now anyway."

"May I speak with you for a moment?"

"Yes"

"We have a problem and I have the solution."

"And what pray tell is the problem."

"Well your father is gone. And I want to stay here at Tara. You have no place to go unless you go live with your Aunts or with Scarlett. And I know that neither is acceptable to you. But we can't stay here together. But I have a solution."

"What is your solution?"

"Miss Suellen Marry me. I will take care of you."

"This is sudden. What makes you think I would ever marry you?"

"Because you really don't have any other choices."

"I guess I don't have many do I?"

"No you really don't. So will you marry me?"

"Yes Will I will marry you." Suellen said in defeat.

The next day They went to the justice of the peace. While they were gone Scarlett slipped back to Atlanta with Ashley and Melanie and the baby in tow. When Suellen and Will returned home they found the house empty save for the servants that Scarlett had paid to stay. Suellen was scared to be alone with Will but grateful that Scarlett was gone. That night as they consummated the marriage she found Will to be a gentle giving lover. After Will had fallen asleep she slipped out to the balcony and sat in the old rocker and wept. She wandered if that was what it would have been like with Frank. She suddenly shook the thought from her head. I'm not married to Frank I'm married to Will. She thought. But how do I be a wife? I have no idea what I'm doing. She said a little louder than she intended.

"Honey Chile. I'z here. I'll help you to learn to be a good wife." Mammy told her hugging the crying girl to her.

Will was a patient man with Suellen. He never forced himself on her but was glad that she willingly participated. It was a few months after the wedding that they found out that she was expecting their first child just as news that Scarlett had delivered a baby girl named Ella Lorena Kennedy. Suellen cried when she was all alone thinking that it could be her baby. She held her stomach in guilt at such thoughts. Certainly her mother had taught her better than that.

She worked hard every day and became a good wife to Will but she couldn't love him. She tried to but she couldn't. Then they received the news that Frank Kennedy had been killed. Suellen cried again. She took the letter and hid it to reread later. It told the story of exactly what happened to him and why. Of course India Wilkes would tell her everything her conniving sister wouldn't. Scarlett was an evil bitch. Suellen thought. I hope I never see her again.

Soon the house was filled with the sound of a baby's cry as Suellen delivered a daughter of her own. She fell in love with her little girl completely. Will asked that the baby be named Susan after his sister and his wife. Suellen decided that it would be a very nice thing to do.

Little Susie filled their lives with laughter and joy. Suellen was happy with Will but she still didn't love him and worse yet Will knew. But he never said a word. The happiness from the new baby was dampened only for a moment by the letter announcing Scarlett's wedding to Rhett Butler.

Figures Scarlett would marry that no account braggart. Suellen thought to herself. Well she certainly deserves him. Suellen didn't realize just how much she and her sister had in common.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Suellen and Will fell into a quiet life together. After Susie came four more little girls would come in the following years. With each pregnancy they hoped that it was a boy only to be given a girl. They both loved their daughters. She found herself expecting a sixth baby that summer. She loved her children and respected her husband if not love him.

She received a letter one day from India about Scarlett's awful behavior from partying with Yankee's to her supposingly walking in on her kissing Ashley. Suellen gleefully read every word over twice. And was fairly beaming when Will came in. Will noticed the smile on her face and wondered what could have Suellen so happy.

After the children was put to bed He finally asked her what had her in such a good mood.

"India Wilkes wrote me and told me about my sister Scarlett. Oh she did it this time. Her reputation is gone. She actually was caught kissing Ashley Wilkes."

"Now Suellen you know that is only gossip."

"Oh Will you know it is true. She has been chasing after him for years. But of course you know Melanie wouldn't hear of anything being said against Scarlett. She is so blind."

"No more blind than myself. And more of a sister to Scarlett than yourself."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"She is your sister and yet Melanie treats her better than you."

"You just don't understand. She stole my beau and married him then he was killed and it was her fault. She didn't love him."

"No doubt I am well aware of everything she did because you take no pain in reminding every chance you get."

"You are going to defend her?" Suellen said in shock.

"No what I'm going to do is tell you that you are no one to take stock of Scarlett when some of your own sins are just as bad."

"I'm nothing like Scarlett. I've done nothing like her." She stammered.

" Didn't you marry me when you knew you didn't love me?"

"That was different. I had no other place to go."

"And if Scarlett didn't marry Mr. Kennedy you wouldn't have a place to go."

"Well I certainly did not chase a man for most of my life."

"But you certainly have been chasing after a dead man. You bring up Mr. Kennedy every chance you get. You don't care that it tears me up every time you remind me that you don't love me. I love you Suellen. But You can't keep hurting me like this." Will said painfully as he left the room.

Suellen cried for hours after her and Will's conversation. She had no idea that he was so hurt about it. From that day on she never brought Mr. Kennedy up or her sister. She thought about everything that Will had said. And the sad thing for her was that He was right about how she and Scarlett was so much alike. Maybe that is why they didn't get along as well as Careen and Scarlett did or Careen and herself for that matter.

A month or so later she received news that her niece Bonnie had died and Wade and Ella would soon be arriving at Tara. Ella looked so much like Mr. Kennedy but Suellen bit her tongue. She didn't want to hurt Will or Ella. As the time passed with Ella she realized that this child was more like Scarlett and was a delightful child despite that. Ella was always seeking approval. And Suellen was quick to give it. Wade was also very delightful but she learned quickly never to say anything against his mother even in passing. She had once made a remark to him about her sister not being very close to him and he became so angry he refused to even eat supper with the family.

The family had gotten into a routine when they received the news that Melanie Wilkes had died. Suellen cried as she told the children and tried to soothe their sorrow. She even thought of Scarlett. She must be really hurting.

Will went to Jonesboro to get supplies and ran into an old friend from Atlanta. He was filled in on the latest gossip and most of it was about Scarlett. He went home and quietly told Suellen that Rhett had left Scarlett. Suellen sat in silence digesting the news. She knew that Scarlett hadn't loved Rhett when she married him but from what the children had told her she knew that Scarlett did now. Tears started to fall silently as Will rose to go check on the animals.

"Will, Please?"

"Suellen what honey?"

"You won't leave me will you?" Suellen asked fearfully.

"Suellen I'm nothing like Rhett Butler. I will never leave you." he said coming to put his arms around her.

"Will I love you never let me go."

"Suellen I will never let you go ever. I will love you until the day I die."

"Me Too Will." Suellen hugged her husband and tried to forget her fears. Finally She felt loved.


End file.
